Data Mining!

The other day I was trying to impress my old uncle about my new job as a data mining specialist at a major data analytics company. Seeing his perplexed expression I tried to explain what exactly I do.

“Uncle! Let’s imagine that you just got your pay check today. Based on your past behaviour, I can easily predict how much of it you will be blowing away on expensive Cubans,” I tried to explain.

“And, how many pints of beer you will down at the corner pub before heading home!'”

He looked unimpressed.

“Back in my heydays, we had someone who could do all this, and more! We called her,” he paused and cracking a wry smile on his face, leaned forward and continued, “A Wife!”

Row, row, row your boat!

A couple of FOBs were vigorously rowing their boat to quickly get ashore to the land of promise! No matter how hard they rowed, they could not make any progress. They take the paddles out of the water just in time to notice that these were completely floppy. They throw up their hands in the air and cry out loud, “Oh God! Why us?”

Just then, they hear the faint notes of a song floating in from the background


तेरी ओर है रब्बा …
तेरी ओर है रब्बा …

Teri oar hai rubber …